We’ve been doing the hard work this month of looking in our own hearts
to see what is there—gratitude or greed. When we get our hearts in the right place, instilling gratitude in the hearts
of our children isn’t so difficult. It just takes the resolve to carry through
on our desire to raise children with grateful hearts.
When my sons were young, every time we drove through the bank the teller offered them a lollipop. Rather than allowing the treat just because it was offered, more times than not, I said “Thank you, but not today.” After a while, the boys would join in unison, “No thank you, not today.” The boys had learned that the lollipop was a treat, not a “right.”
On the occasions that I said,
“Thank you so much that would be a real treat” to the teller’s offer, the boys
would squeal with joy as they enjoyed every lick of their lollipops.
Here are a few helpful tips on
how to instill gratitude in the hearts of your children:
- Don’t
allow your children to have something every time it’s offered. This
creates a sense of entitlement and expectation that actually robs your
children of joy!
- Encourage the simple pleasures:
- Make
homemade gifts for each other.
- Play
games rather than rent a movie.
- Spend
the night in the backyard as an adventure at home.
- As your children grow older, expect them
to purchase their “wants” with extra money that they earn for doing
chores. This not only instills gratitude, but also builds self-respect.
- Teach your children to write thank you notes. Beginning at the age of three, your children can “draw” thank you notes. As soon as they are able, they need to write their own. A simple thank you note from a child warms the heart of the recipient and teaches your child the importance of saying thank you.
- Try to not let a day pass by without
asking your children (from toddlers to teens) to name at least two things
they appreciated during the day.
- Wherever you go, point out the good you
see people doing. Express your thanks to those who are serving you and
teach your children to do the same. In restaurants, the teller at the
bank, the checker at the grocery…everywhere you go offer your gratitude
for the little things people do.
How do you instill gratitude in the hearts of your children? Would you
share ideas for the rest of us to follow?
From our hearts to yours,
